


Anchor

by Kkane88



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, Getting Together, Growing Up Together, M/M, Magical Realism, Monsters, becoming human, monster jamie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:01:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23502763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kkane88/pseuds/Kkane88
Summary: Jamie is the monster in Tyler's closet.
Relationships: Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin
Comments: 10
Kudos: 118





	Anchor

**Author's Note:**

> Full disclosure, this is one of my favorite things I've ever written, but it's also very different from what I normally write so feedback is appreciated!

Something lives in Tyler's closet.

He's always known it- always seen the edge of shadow moving in the corner of his eye. When he was younger, he was scared of it. Afraid of the dark and begging his parents to leave the light on or let him sleep in their bed. Eventually, the hissing and shuffling became his lullaby, something he couldn't sleep without. He felt safe knowing it was always there; something constant that he could depend on.

He was three years old when Candace was born. They brought her home and Tyler remembers standing in her nursery as she slept, listening to the hissing whispers coming from her closet. He knew that if he turned around they would stop. Straining his ears, trying to hear anything, he couldn't catch more than a dry hiss. Bracing himself, he spun around just in time to see two shadows dart off into the dark corners of the closet.

"Are you here to watch over us?" he asked.

There was no response.

He was six when Cassidy was born. Sitting in her room one afternoon, watching her nap in her crib, he heard the whispering again. This time it sounded like three. He turned his head slowly, and the shadows didn't flee. One of them raised what looked like a hand, waving at him.

Tyler waved back.

He stopped being afraid after that. He's not sure why. He was determined to be friends with the shadow, even going so far as naming it Jamie. He would lay on his bed babbling to it, looking hopefully for a response. Aside from the occasional shift in the darkness, there was nothing. Somehow, he knew the shadow was listening anyway.

He started calling Candace's shadow Jordie, and Cassidy's shadow Jason. No one sees them, except for Tyler. He's the only one who's looking.

They start to interact with him. Sometimes it's just a wave as he walks by a dark room. Sometimes it's more. He'll be looking for something- a lost shoe or a toy- and find it placed nicely in the middle of his bed. He always makes sure to say thank you.

One memorable occasion, he dropped a glass in the kitchen, shattering pieces everywhere. When he came back with the broom, all of the shards were in a neat pile and, as he watched, another piece came shooting out from under the refrigerator, landing neatly at the edge of the pile.

"Thanks, Jamie. What are you doing under there?" he asked. Of course, there's no response.

The shadow doesn't talk to him until he's twelve.

Candace and Cassidy are at a sleepover, and Tyler's grateful. As it is, he can barely handle the sound of his parents screaming downstairs. He doesn't think he would be able to hold it together if he were trying to comfort his sisters, too.

He's laying in his bed, crying, when the sound of his closet door creaking open startles him. He sits up quickly and the shadow flinches back, but doesn't retreat into the closet. Tyler freezes. The shadow is shaped like a person, down to the hands curled around the doorframe, and it looks to be around the same height as Tyler. It's mostly hidden behind the door, but seems like it's peeking out at Tyler curiously.

"Jamie?" Tyler breathes, and then flushes. He's called the shadow Jamie since he was a child, but never to its... uh, face?... and he's suddenly self-conscious about it.

"Hi," a surprisingly soft voice responds. It's whispery, but more solid than Tyler imagined it would be. More real than the hissed whispers he's used to. It sounds shy and hesitant. Tyler stands up slowly, wiping the stray tears from his face, and takes a step forward.

"You're letting me see you," he says, whispering back, trying not to scare Jamie.

"I'm not supposed to," Jamie admits. "But you were sad and I thought it might… distract you." A door slamming downstairs reminds Tyler why he was hiding in his room to begin with, but he keeps his eyes firmly on Jamie.

"Will you come sit on the bed?" Tyler asks, but Jamie's shaking his head before the question is even finished.

"I can't. There's too much light," he explains, but he inches out from behind the door like he _wants_ to.

"What if I come in the closet?" Tyler asks, anxious to spend more time with someone he's considered his friend since childhood. Jamie considers it for a second and then nods. Tyler moves slowly and steps into the closet, closing the door behind him. He can't see Jamie anymore, but he can hear him. Tyler sits down with his back to the wall and faces where he thinks Jamie must be. "So you live in here?"

"Mostly. I can live anywhere where it's dark. Sometimes I go under your bed, or under the couch if you're downstairs." Jamie sounds nervous, but eager to share. Tyler wonders if Jamie's wanted to talk to him just as much as he wanted to talk to Jamie.

"What's your real name?" The question bursts out of Tyler. He still feels embarrassed about calling Jamie a made up name for his whole life.

"I don't really have one," Jamie says, sounding embarrassed. "You started calling me Jamie so I just went with that. My brother started calling himself Jordie, too. And so did Jason."

"Your _brother_?" Tyler practically shrieks. "You have a _brother_?"

"Yeah… Jordie…" Jamie says again.

"As in, Candace's shadow? Jordie? He's your brother?" Tyler checks again. Jamie doesn't get a chance to respond before Tyler feels another presence in the closet. Even though he's pressed to the wall, he feels something move behind him and he yelps, scrambling over to where he thinks Jamie is.

"That's not funny, Jordie!" Jamie scolds. "Don't scare him like that." Tyler can't see anything, but he can almost feel Jamie's arm go around his shoulders protectively. There's a dry laugh coming from where Tyler had been sitting just seconds before.

"I couldn't resist," the voice says. "The opportunity was perfect."

"Shouldn't you be with Candace?" Jamie asks, sounding grumpy.

"Jason's with both of the girls. They'll be fine," Jordie says, unconcerned. "I thought you might try something like this while we were gone, so I stuck around." The air around Tyler shifts, like it's embarrassed.

"I just wanted to talk to him," Jamie grumbles.

"Why aren't you supposed to talk to me, anyways?" Tyler asks once he finally gets his voice back.

"We're supposed to look after you," Jordie explains, "but we're supposed to do it unseen. Sometimes kids are afraid of us, but when they grow up they either ignore us or forget us. When they turn eighteen we leave them and we're assigned to a new child."

"So how old are you?" Tyler can't help interrupting.

"Not very much older than you," Jamie says. "You guys are our first ones." Tyler feels himself grinning but he doesn't bother to try and stop it. Knowing Jamie's never lived in anyone else's closet makes him feel a strange sense of satisfaction.

"Jamie's pretty attached to you," Jordie laughs. "You might never be rid of him. I just knew he was gonna talk to you tonight."

"That's okay," Tyler says, reaching out and patting what he hopes is Jamie's shoulder. "I'm pretty attached to you, too." Tyler's bedroom door creaks open then, and his mom comes in to check on him and apologize. Tyler's sad about having to leave the closet, but his mom needs him. They need each other.

After that night, Jamie talks to Tyler every day. Sometimes Jordie and Jason stop by, too, but Tyler can admit that he likes talking to Jamie best. He doesn't think he's wrong about Jamie being happier when it's just the two of them.

And then, when Tyler's 14, his parents get divorced.

He's seen it coming for a long time, so it's not a surprise, but it still takes it's toll on him and his sisters. Sometimes they curl up in bed together, taking comfort in each other even when everything else around them is changing. Tyler lets his hand fall over the side of the bed, and sometimes he feels a phantom hand slide into his. The first time it happens, he hears quiet snickering from the darkness, and Jamie starts to pull away before Tyler tightens his grip desperately. Jamie doesn't let go.

"Are you able to make yourself look human?" Tyler asks one day. He's turned off all the lights and pulled a blanket over his head so Jamie can occupy the dark under the blanket with him. He's been spending more and more time out of the closet, lounging in Tyler's bed while they talk.

"I've never tried," Jamie's whispery voice says to Tyler's left. "There are stories my parents used to tell us about our kind becoming human, but I've never believed in them." Tyler's silent for a long moment.

"Do you think if you wanted it hard enough, you could do it?" he finally asks. The weight behind his words betrays how he's feeling and the moment stretches between them. This isn't the first time he's thought about this, but it's the first time he's brought it up to Jamie. He just wants to _see_ Jamie. To take him outside and show him the world in the sunlight. To be able to introduce him to his school friends or his hockey friends. He can't tell anyone in the world about his best friend because they wouldn't _understand_.

"I could try," Jamie finally says.

On the morning of Tyler's sixteenth birthday, he wakes up to Jamie whispering his name from the closet. Tyler sits up, rubbing his eyes, and nearly flails off the bed when Jamie steps out of the closet. He looks _human_. Maybe a little taller than Tyler, dark hair, a little chubby. He's wearing a black t-shirt and black jeans. The only thing that sets him apart are his eyes that are as dark as night.

"I've been practicing," Jamie says, ducking his head like he's embarrassed. Tyler wants to _cry_. He throws himself toward Jamie but pauses when he gets close enough to touch.

"Can I?" he asks, holding a hand out. Jamie nods and Tyler takes a deep breath. He lays his hand on Jamie's chest- or, well, he _tries_. Even looking human, Jamie feels the same as he did as a shadow. Tyler's hand goes through his chest, just feeling like thickened air around his hand.

"Sorry, Ty," Jamie says, ducking his head. "I wasn't able to do any better than this."

"No, Jamie, this is _amazing_ ," Tyler argues. "I'm so impressed that you were able to do this."

"I'll keep practicing," he promises. Tyler feels a stab of guilt. He was the one that asked Jamie to do this. What if this isn't something Jamie actually wants?

"Jamie… are you doing this for you? Or are you doing it for me?" Tyler asks. "I don't want you to do it if you don't want to."

Jamie shrugs. "I'm doing it for us."

Jamie starts spending more time in human form with Tyler. Sometimes he'll even come lay next to Tyler on the bed so they can watch a movie together, but as soon as it's over, he turns back into mist and slips into the shadows. Tyler has decided not to say anything else about it, still feeling guilty, like he pressured him into it, but he can't help smiling like an idiot every time Jamie steps out of the closet.

He doesn't even have to hide Jamie from his family. Candace and Cassidy spend more and more time out of the house nowadays, and his mom has practically doubled her work hours since the divorce. That means Jordie and Jason aren't around as often, but Tyler doesn't have to worry about anyone hearing him talking to "himself" anymore.

He doesn't try to touch Jamie again. He seems skittish, staying an arm's length away at all times, and Tyler gives him space.

And then, the night before Tyler's seventeenth birthday, Jamie walks out of the closet and stands in the middle of the room. Tyler looks up at him, noting the way Jamie's shifting nervously.

"Come here," Jamie says, squaring his shoulders and looking Tyler in the eye. Tyler raises his eyebrows, but stands up and makes his way to him. Jamie reaches out and grabs Tyler's hand, bringing it up and holding it against his chest. Tyler gasps. He's cold under Tyler's palm, but he's _solid_. Jamie lets go and Tyler trails his hand up to Jamie's neck, fingers tracing a path over Jamie's cheek and up to his hair. Tyler can't resist running his fingers through it. It's so soft it feels like puffs of smoke disappearing into the air.

"Awesome," he says, and then starts giggling at how stupid he sounds. Jamie smiles back and reaches out toward Tyler slowly. Tyler's frozen, hand still in Jamie's hair, while Jamie mirrors him, trailing his own fingers up Tyler's cheek until they tangle in Tyler's hair. Tyler laughs again, stepping closer and looking up at Jamie. His heart skips a beat and he realizes in that moment that he wants to _kiss_ Jamie. He doesn't think Jamie would stop him. His eyes are wide and he's staring down at Tyler, eyes darting to Tyler's lips like he knows what he's thinking, and he's thinking it too.

Just as Tyler's gathering up the courage to close the distance between them, there's a shuffling sound in the closet and Jordie's voice floats out.

"Your sisters are coming," he warns, sounding amused and sorry at the same time. Jamie steps back and Tyler lets his hands fall back down to his sides. Before Jamie can get back into the closet, Tyler reaches out one more time to grab his wrist.

"Thank you," he says quietly, just for Jamie. He couldn't have asked for a better birthday gift. Jamie steps back into the closet right as Candace and Cassidy burst into his room

After that, Jamie spends more time as a human than as a shadow.

"Does it hurt?" Tyler asks one day. "Staying like this, I mean?"

"Not anymore," Jamie says. "It did a little bit at first but now it's easy." Tyler rolls over onto his side, looking at Jamie lounging on the bed next to him. He reaches out and lays his palm flat on Jamie's chest. The skin under his shirt is warm- not as warm as Tyler's, but warmer than it was when Jamie first started shifting. His eyes are still black, but it seems like he gets more and more human every time he shifts. Tyler can't help but hope it becomes a more permanent thing.

Jamie's even been able to come out of the shadows. Tyler tends to leave his bedroom light on now, mostly because it keeps Jordie and Jason from sneaking in and making fun of them.

"How do you feel about trying to go outside?" he asks, avoiding Jamie's eyes. "You don't have to, but… you've never felt the sunlight. And no one's home so they wouldn't see you." It's a Saturday, and the girls are at a movie with their friends and his mom is at work. These are Tyler's favorite days. But Jamie's quiet for so long that Tyler loses hope. "Forget it, I know it's too much to ask."

"We can try," Jamie says, taking a deep breath like he's trying to gather courage. They go to the back yard because it has a privacy fence. Tyler steps out onto the deck, still covered in shade, and turns to see Jamie biting his lip. When he doesn't move for a couple minutes, Tyler holds his hand out.

"We can try again another time," Tyler assures him. "Or not at all. This is totally up to you." But Jamie reaches out and links his fingers with Tyler's. He takes another deep breath and then steps out onto the porch.

The first time the sunlight hits his skin, Jamie gasps. Tyler's worried that it's hurting him, but Jamie steps further into the light and a grin slips onto his face.

"Tyler," he breathes, turning to smile at him. Tyler grins back.

"Nice, huh?" he asks, amused.

"It's so _warm_." Tyler pulls him over to the deck chairs and makes him sit down, both of them reclining back. They don't say anything for awhile, but the grin on Jamie's face makes Tyler feel like he's in the clouds. Eventually, Tyler's growling stomach makes him get up in search of food. When he asks Jamie if he wants anything, Jamie says no.

"I can't eat human food," Jamie says, cracking an eye open to peer up at Tyler. "You should know that by now."

"Well, I didn't know if your new human body needed sustenance," Tyler defends. "But whatever, more for me." Except when Tyler comes back with the sandwiches he made, Jamie eyes them with interest. And then his stomach growls. They look at each other, wide-eyed. "Maybe you should give it a shot?" Tyler asks, holding out the sandwich. Jamie takes it hesitantly and takes a bite. He chews a couple times and then his face lights up, the same way it did when the sunlight hit his skin for the first time.

"This is delicious," Jamie says, mouth full. He doesn't seem concerned about the fact that he _shouldn't_ need food, so Tyler chooses to ignore it too.

Jamie starts eating every meal with Tyler when he's not at school, and then Tyler has to start leaving his door locked at night because Jamie spends the night in Tyler's bed. He doesn't sleep- he doesn't need to- but he watches movies or Netflix on Tyler's phone.

And then one day, Tyler wakes up and feels the familiar- now warm- weight of Jamie behind him. Tyler stretches his arms out and then rolls over to say good morning-- and freezes. Jamie's sprawled out with one arm thrown over his head and the other laying on his chest. And he's fast asleep. Tyler doesn't know what to do. Should he wake him up? What if Jamie freaks out? He ends up getting up and going over to the closet.

"Jordie?" he hisses into the darkness. He doesn't expect Jordie to answer, but he's not about to go into his sister's room and start talking to her closet.

So he's surprised when, a few seconds later, he hears a hissed, "What?"

"Jamie's _sleeping_ ," he says back. There's silence for a solid minute and he starts to wonder if Jordie left.

"He's been eating and going out in the sun," Jordie finally says. "I guess sleeping is the next step."

"What's happening to him?"

"He's becoming human," Jordie says, a hint of sadness in his voice. Tyler's shocked into silence. He's loved getting to have Jamie in human form, but he didn't think that it was possible for him to _become_ human.

"How is that possible?" he asks, not quite believing it.

"He wanted to stay with you so much that he wished it into existence," Jordie says. "He's happy with you." Before Tyler can respond, or even comprehend what Jordie's saying, Jamie makes a sound behind him. Tyler turns and goes back to the bed, laying back down before Jamie fully wakes up. When he finally opens his eyes and looks over, Tyler gasps.

"What?" Jamie says groggily.

"Your _eyes_ ," Tyler says, amazed. His eyes aren't black anymore. They're human now- a gorgeous brown that Tyler can't look away from.

"What about them?" Jamie groans, rubbing at his face. Tyler gets up and runs to the bathroom, grabbing a hand mirror and running back. He holds it out to Jamie, who takes it and looks at himself.

"Oh," he says, seeming surprised but not worried.

"Why aren't you freaking out?" Tyler asks, feeling like his heart is going to beat out of his chest. "You were asleep! You've been eating human food and now your eyes are human."

"This is what I wanted," Jamie says softly, setting the mirror aside and sitting up. "I stopped shifting back into shadows because I wanted to be like this. Be human. I don't even know if I could change back now."

"Jamie," Tyler breathes. He reaches out and takes Jamie's face in his hands. "So you're human now? For real? Like, forever?"

"I- I think so," Jamie agrees. Tyler moves forward, throwing a leg over Jamie's lap so he's straddling him.

"Jamie, I'm going to kiss you now," Tyler says. "If you don't want me to, please tell me now." Jamie's hands come up to hold Tyler's hips.

"Please do."

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr:  
> [kkane88](https://kkane88.tumblr.com/)  
> [kwriteshockey](https://kwriteshockey.tumblr.com//)


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